Soli Deo Gloria

... so far, in all my working years, it has always been me quitting on my boss ...

... now, it's my boss quitting on us ...

... hmmm, mixed feelings ... happy for her coz she's going to a better place ... sad coz i am really comfortable working with her and she has helped to brought the team together ... the past one year was not an easy one ...

... i suppose the team members are feeling lost too ... and most of them stayed on because of her ... she's a fighter ...

... hmm, i am worried as well ... part of me wants to take on her portfolio on the reporting but operations wise, it is not so easy to do ... and i do not know what the big boss thinks ... and i'll be due to give birth in a few months' time ...

... i guess God will guide me through ...

in the midst of anger ...

all the things i learnt about life-giving, no names calling were forgotten ...

the angry me want to have my point put across clearly and LOUDLY ...

hmmmm .... the event involved is quite serious but I guess there's a better way to express it out (?)

i dunno ...

When you decide to love someone, does the idea of self still exist?
When you decide to love someone, do you show it or hide it?
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The piano accompaniment is nice and the singer sang it quite nicely … here’s the lyrics

刘若英---落跑新娘
这个决定是多么艰难 (this is a tough decision to make)
爱你却选择离开 (I love you but I choose to leave you)
并不是我总把孤单当成习惯 (it’s not because I am used to loneliness(
未来并不如想像中简单 (the future is not as simple as we thought)
我也不是不需要疼爱 (it’s not that I do not need to be loved)
你永远无可取代 (you are irreplaceable)
再不敢唱起那歌词最后一排
有个男孩爱着那女孩 (there was a boy loving the girl)
抱歉我 (I am sorry)
我知道自己不负责任 ( I know I am irresponsible)
虽然我 (even though I have)
很认真想过和你过一生 (very seriously considered spending my lifetime with you)
为什么会逃避这一刻 (I still want to run away at this moment(
你握住我的手 (you are holding my hands)
越温暖越疼 (it’s warm but I feel the pain)
抱歉我 (I am sorry)
我应该对自己负责任 (I need to be responsible for myself)
当你说 (when you said)
你都能理解我痛苦失神 (you can understand my pain)
害怕失去一个人 (of losing someone you love)
才想回到一个人 (and want to go back to being alone)
我会 (I will)
把这份爱存放在心的最底层 (keep this love at the bottom of my heart)

But I dun understand the rationale … if you love someone, shouldn’t you be making use of each seconds, each minutes of your life to spend time with that special someone instead of keeping this feelings at the bottom of your heart – where no one would know or experience it …

was feeling not too tired and suggested that we watched a movie...

dearie suggested that we can rent a dvd and watched it in the comfort of our house ...

so, we decided to watch Jesus Camp without really knowing what it is all about ...

we did not finish the entire movie ... i think the movie is trying to document what one of the churches in america is teaching the children, how to be part of God's army ... i guess the intention is good but it is the way that it is being done that i am uncomfortable about...

hmmm, half way through the movie, i felt uncomfortable ... and for dearie, he said the film is confusing ... probably he felt disturbed as well ... so we decided to switch off and tuned in to discovery channel instead...

Does anyone of you feel the same as me?

I realised that when it comes to Advent or Lent ... the temptation to sin is very great ...

During these times, the bad, sinister side of me is raring to go .... hurt someone, be selfish etc ...

When will the day comes before I can be fully converted?

Yesterday's homily, Father said that Jesus did not come to tell us not to sin (something like that) but He comes to show us the way ...

I know I am weak and I can only rely on Him for the strength to rid my old self and to be a better person ...

I always have to remind myself ... last week, I was so touched during communion when they sang Great is the love here .... The song spoke about how Jesus humbled himself to wash the feet of his disciples and he wants us to do the same ...

As I reflected on the words, I felt so ashamed of myself suddenly ... it just feels that I am a worse off person than before baptism ...

Anyway, I am glad that God chose that song to speak to me ... I reflected, and asked Him for the strength to walk on and yesterday's readings told me that I should not see things with my own eyes coz God's standard is very different from Man's ...

Thank you Lord for your love for me, for showing me that I should look to you for directions... in my relationship with the people around me. Lord, continue to guide me and let me pass on your love to others as well.