Direction from God

Thursday, January 26, 2006
I was doing my work when I remembered that I have not read the email from Francis.

Subconsciously, I opened the explorer – my mind was a blur – I forgot that I have to open my outlook instead. I clicked onto veritas and saw and article “preoccupation with self”. I thought it is about self – myself and clicked on to read. The content surprised me. Anyway, do spend some time to read it.

From the article -

“Lord God, I trust that your love is everlasting. I want to open my heart to receive and experience your love. Please embrace me, and let me know that your love is unconditional. Fulfill and satisfy me with the abundance of this love. Let me realise that I am precious, lovable, and loved in your sight. Release my bondage of self-preoccupation and free my heart, so that I may love genuinely and give of myself joyously, and not to look for something in return. Grant me wisdom and strength to meet my partner’s needs rather than mine. Remove the fear and mistrust in my heart, so that I may trust in your grace and strength, and live to enjoy the goodness and love which you desire for my spousal relationship. Amen.” Catholic News, 24 Jan 2006

Also, on the bus ride to work this morning, I was led by the Holy Spirit to read this passage: - (1 Peter 3)
Wives and Husbands
3 -->Wives, in the same way, accept the authority of your husbands, so that, even if some of them do not obey the word, they may be won over without a word by their wives’ conduct,
2 -->when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
3 -->Do not adorn yourselves outwardly by braiding your hair, and by wearing gold ornaments or fine clothing;
4 -->rather, let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight.
5 -->It was in this way long ago that the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by accepting the authority of their husbands.
6 -->Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. You have become her daughters as long as you do what is good and never let fears alarm you.
7 -->Husbands, in the same way, show consideration for your wives in your life together, paying honour to the woman as the weaker sex, since they too are also heirs of the gracious gift of life—so that nothing may hinder your prayers.
Hmm, yes Lord, I really need Your guidance in this department. Please be generous with me and let me learn what unconditional love is and be such a person. Amen.
 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 6:08 PM, | 0 comments

Just some thoughts

Had our first interview with Fr. T today.

He asked us a simple question which we cannot answer. As a result, we were told to go home to write an essay. I suppose the objective of this exercise is to make us see clearer where we are heading towards (maybe it is an exercise to tune our wavelengths to be in sync)

Well, I have about 2 ½ weeks to ponder over his question till we meet him again in the middle of Feb.

It’s a wonder how we do things in a reverse order – decide to get married and then sign up for marriage preparation course to prepare ourselves for married life. How come it is not the other way round – go for a MPC to understand what marriage is about before deciding if you want to take the final plunge.

Just my thoughts.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Why does one feel so short fused when under the influence of medication?

It's not healthy - we are just getting on each other's nerves and "killing" each other.
 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 7:09 AM, | 0 comments

Care Bears

Friend Bear
You are everyone's ideal friend because you are sincere and genuinely kind. Sometimes you worry about your friends' problems so much, you forget about your own responsibilities, which can get you into trouble. For you, it's the little things that really count. You also happen to be the main driver of the Cloud Car. No speeding!

You also could have been:

Bedtime Bear

Birthday Bear

Cheer Bear

Funshine Bear

Good Luck Bear

Grumpy Bear

Love-a-lot Bear

Tenderheart Bear

Wish Bear

 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 7:04 AM, | 0 comments

Expectations

Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Supposed to go to check out LOM yesterday but I never make my way there.

Instead, I accompanied my dear to see the doctor. He has been sick for a few weeks and I could feel that he is happy that I had volunteered to accompany him to see the doc. (I suppose all of us like to feel sayang at times – be it boy or girl/man or woman.) Well, hope he gets well soon.
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Office has been quite busy lately – busy not because of work but busy because of people complaining about not being appreciated, not being given enough performance bonus, not being given enough increment.
Well, exactly how much is considered enough? It is a very subjective issue and what is the point of comparing and complaining (btw, we are not suppose to compare as it is an ultra-senstitive issue).
I thought one should be forward looking. If this place gives you so much unhappiness, then you need to consider if you want to look elsewhere. But one also need to ask yourself truthfully if there could have been areas which you could have done better.
I do not know how I ranked among all the executives but I am thankful for what was given to me. The amount is quite tidy and if I spend prudently and if nothing extraordinary comes along the way, I hope it can be enough to cover whatever necessary things I need to buy/provide.
I am thankful for His blessings. He fills me in areas that I am weak. He blesses me with a good boss and instead of complaining of things that she could have done for me, I focus on her plus points and how I can fit in so that there can be greater synergy. (It's all about GOD's GRACES, CHEMISTRY and TEAMWORK). Honestly speaking, she is one of the best bosses that I have worked for.
~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~
Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for all Your wonderful and patience guidance, grace and blessings. I confess that I have sinned in my thoughts, my words, my actions and in things that I have failed to do and things that I have done. I ask for Your forgiveness. Lead me to be Your Light – to spread peace in the office – where there are complaints, unhappiness, teach me to say things that may dispel all these negative feelings. Lord, please help Peter to recover from his persistent cough and guide him through his work. Lord, I lift all these to You through Jesus Christ, AMEN.
 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 8:17 AM, | 0 comments

Today's Reflection

Today’s reflection from Veritas.org: give to God in abandon and ignore what the world says about your actions.

Reproduced from Veritas.Org –
Readings 1:
2 Samuel 6:12-15, 17-19; 2: Psalm 24; 3: Mark 3:31-35

LET THEM TALK'David, girt with a linen apron, came dancing before the Lord with abandon.' 2 Samuel 6:14
A characteristic of David's life is that he gave himself to 'the Lord with abandon' (2 Sm 6:14). David didn't hold back on giving to God, no matter what others said about him.
David was upset that Goliath was insulting God (1 Sm 17:26), and was determined to defend God's honor by fighting the giant. David's brothers 'grew angry with David,' insulting and belittling him (1 Sm 17:28). Goliath insulted David as well (1 Sm 17:42ff). David paid no attention to the personal insults, but abandoned his life for the honor of the name of God (1 Sm 17:45ff).
David not only danced with abandon before the Lord, he gave the procession his all. He organized hundreds of people to carry the ark, to process in worship, and sing God's praises (see 1 Chr 15:3-25). David gave it all financially as well, by providing a meal for every person in Israel, as he had called the entire nation to the procession (1 Chr 15:28; 16:3). He held nothing back when it came to worshipping God. Yet his reward was to be 'despised' (1 Chr 15:29) and insulted by his wife, Michal, for a seeming lack of royal dignity in his worship (2 Sm 6:20). David paid no attention to the insult, and responded by telling her that he would now worship God with abandon 'even more' (2 Sm 6:22).
Be like King David, St. Mary Magdalene, St. Stephen, and today's saint, Francis de Sales. Abandon yourself so completely to the Lord that you notice only His glory.

Praise: St. Francis is patron of the Catholic press because he used the written word to lead people to holiness.
Prayer: Jesus, may I love you so much that I can only rejoice when I am ill-treated for Your sake (Acts 5:41; 13:52; Mt 5:11-12).
Promise: Jesus said: 'Whoever does the will of God is brother and sister and mother to Me.' Mk 3:35

 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 8:10 AM, | 0 comments

Tuesday, January 24, 2006
This post is inspired after reading my friend’s blog.

Hmm, first love or first crush is usually hard to forget. It’s part of growing up. Haha.

I still remember the few guys I used to drool over during school days but after so many years, they have either turned haggard or have turned uncle.

My brother got this theory – these guys peaked too soon (in terms of their looks) and they are not humble enough to keep on improving (their appearance) and hence their “sorry” stage when they get older.

Good to hear that he has been a positive influence on you (though it is sad that he didn’t make it to NUS with you).

I have a huge crush on my neighbour too – since Primary 6 and it went on for many, many years (for a good 10 or 11 years)! (GSP should know some of it – if she still remembers). Haha.

He is like the perfect guy to bring out to show your friends and parents and my day would be just perfect by just bumping into him at the lift landing, admiring him … even aunty Tan realises that I had this crush on him. hahahaha.

He has motivated me to study hard, get into a JC and coincidentally, he was my senior (though many batches before me).

The “mysterious” air about him is no more, and I am just happy that I know this fella as a “hi-bye” kind of friend. Coz after knowing a person, you realised several things – e.g. no chemistry, he has a different wavelength etc and he is no longer that boyish boy in his JC uniform whose smile is enough to kill me (hahahaha) … …he is no longer that mysterious man.

These are just part of the good memories that you can share again with your childhood friends and laugh over that “I was young once …”
 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 9:20 PM, | 0 comments

The Power of a Praying Wife

Friday, January 20, 2006
Took leave today so that I can clear my room.

I was taking a break and was surfing the blogs. I went to my favourite blog to read. As she does not have any new post on her main blog, I started exploring other parts of the blog and I came across this.
Well, BF and I have been having several disagreements for the past one week - we get annoyed/irritated by each other behaviour. Though at times I pray that I will be more loving and patient and understanding and I seek His guidance in our relationship but I think what my favourite blogger had post in her blog really left an impact. Once again, it is God sending her to me to tell me such things about relationship. Though I am still not a wife yet, the prayer below still helps me to put things into perspective.

Attached is the post from her blog.

The Power of a Praying Wife
So often we pray about our husbands, "Lord, change HIM!" Yet, many times the Lord is calling us to pray, "Lord, change ME!" This is a much tougher prayer to embrace, but one that is necessary for the good of our marriages. It is also one, I believe, that ushers in the blessings of heaven in a mighty way.
May I suggest that you pray this aloud and see how the Lord speaks to your heart?
"Lord, help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one without Your help.
Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things.
Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled.
Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace and joy (Galatians 5:22,23).
I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.
"Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I've been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do--totally and completely, no looking back.
Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage.
Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.
"Make me my husband's helpmate, companion, champion, friend and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife."I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be.
Only You, Lord, are perfect and I look to You to perfect us.
"Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us.
Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5).
Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other's faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage.
Help us to pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19).
May we be "perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment" (1 Corinthians 1:10)."
I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to be the head of the home as You made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise. Breathe Your life into this marriage."Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me to see Him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me."~From The
Power of a Praying Wife, by Stormie Omartian
 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 8:07 PM, | 1 comments

I was blind but now I see. I was deaf but now I hear.

Thursday, January 19, 2006
Had a short chit chat session with Father T. yesterday and I shared with him my vision …. (was quite nervous prior to meeting him and on my way to church, it was raining. I thought I would be late but with Lord's grace, I managed to arrive 5 minutes earlier)

Somehow, after sharing, things had become clearer for me and it seems like it is His will that I have the chit chat session with him instead of the other priests. The issue has sort of become clearer and it’s just waiting for the right time to happen and my readiness. I should just be bold and take the first step forward (ultimately it had been what I have been praying for - being His light, spread His love, prayers, reaching out to those who are not believers yet - but the form of what it means took me by surprise.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A question was posed to me – why do I want to become a Christian?

Well, I suppose this is beyond my control coz Heavenly Father is calling me. Like what I read in John last night – God will reveal Himself to those He has called. Those who are blind will be able to see and those who are deaf can hear.

I suppose we cannot take the words deaf and blind in literal sense but it is saying that before receiving God’s call, we are blind to His presence and we do not understand His word as we are deaf. But once He calls and you are ready to receive the Holy Spirit, all the clogged pores in your body will become clear and His love will just overwhelm you and what you dun understand in the past, you begin to understand. (NB: GSP, u should know the before and after me the best rite? =))

So I guess, why do I want to become a Christian is because of this calling and because I can see and hear Him now.

It’s strange how this calling comes about but I suppose He has a plan for me. He knows when to call me so that I can feel His impact and presence.

Life has definitely become better – not like it is a bed of roses now – but He gives me the strength and new insights as to how I should spend my time on earth. Thank you Lord! Amen!
 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 7:59 PM, | 2 comments

Don't

Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Don’t pray to be sheltered from problems but to be fearless and facing them …
Don’t be afraid of pain but ask for a heart that conquers it!

 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 2:45 AM, | 0 comments

My Wonderful God

Finally! I am now at the last leg of my quarterly reporting.

God has been kind to me. He has sent me an angel (my boss) to guide me through this entire closing.

Thank you Father

During this tiring time, I discovered something – reading the bible and talking to God before going to sleep is very good – He sends forth His message for me during this time. It’s like I am the plant and He is watering me, giving me all the food and moisture that my tired soul needs.
 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 2:43 AM, | 0 comments

What do you want?

Monday, January 16, 2006
“Here I am Lord, is it I Lord?”

This hymn was being sung as I went forward to receive my blessings during communion (on Saturday).

God has called me out from my darkness. The initial calling had left a strong impact on me. But I suppose, like all boy-girl relationship, the initial stage is always exciting. We are eager to get to know one another and would want to spend every minute of our time together. Things would later settle into a routine pace and may even turn ‘dull’.

I suppose spiritually, this is what is happening to me.

I had started a relationship with our heavenly Father. Like all couples, I guess I am passed the initial stage.

Like in today’s Mass reading, we see how Samuel responded to God’s calling, how St Paul urges all to use our bodies for God’s purpose and Jesus’ invitation for us to “come and see” where he is staying and his invitation for us to “stay with him”.

I seek and I found him. But the story doesn’t end there. I need to continue to keep an open mind and continue seeking him. In seeking, we may set out on a journey without answers and without knowing where exactly we will be heading. Going to anywhere unknown always leaves an unsecured feeling and as human, we tend to imagine how things would turn out. We began to have expectations and such expectations may even leave us unhappy and holds us back from going to Him.

These were my thoughts - Until today’s sharing.

A lot of them had answered God’s call. They do not know that they are able to do it until they submit all of themselves to Him and He delivers them through – like a person who does not know how to play organ but with God’s grace, she managed to find time to practice and being able to play confidently. There were many many examples. It is really beautiful coz I am with these people since day 1 and what they shared really bear testimony to His Grace.

I should not be afraid. Go forth with an open heart and stop thinking about all the what-ifs coz if that is His will, let it be done and He will give me the strength to go through it.

Seek the Lord with all my heart and let Him take charge and draw strength from Him. JUST DO IT!

Yes Lord, thank you for the wonderful sharing session that we had today. Though I wasn’t able to share much with my friends, You sent them forth to share Your wonderful Grace with me. I should not be afraid and should have confident in You. Forgive me for being such a scardy cat. Lord, please grant me the strength and if it is Your Will, let it be done. Just like Samuel, Your servant is listening. I lift myself up to You, in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 6:44 AM, | 0 comments

Peace of Jesus

Thursday, January 12, 2006
The Peace of our Lord

His Peace keeps me from harm, from frustration, from anger and from disappointment.

His Peace gives me JOYlots and lots of joy (even in the most undesirable situation).


With His Joy, all other things seem immaterial.

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He knows me inside and out. Even without me asking out loud, He answered me.


His answer came to me when I was reading my bible last night (yea, I have decided to pick up the bible to read again. I want to be close to Him).

The last para struck me.

John 4:10-13
10Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water."
11"Sir," the woman said, "you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?"
13Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
Amen to that.

He is the living God. Whoever believes in Him will never hunger and thirst.


Thank you for reminding me Father. =)

 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 2:02 AM, | 0 comments

Rite of Bible Presentation

Sunday, January 08, 2006
Today we had our Rite of Bible Presentation. It marked another phase of my journey.

Prior to this rite, I was busy in the office and thought that I wouldn’t be able to make it for the rite. But thankfully with God’s grace, I am able to get to church on time.

I thought of giving this a miss but somehow, I still make my way to church.

At church, I was talking to A. and she shared with me that she didn’t feel like coming and it was V and me who gave her strength to come for this and to walk along.

I was surprised coz I myself is facing a dry spell – I had been quite slack – not spending enough quality time with Him.

Inside me, I am fighting my own demons. I sometimes dread going for class (prob I am tired but thankfully I am glad that I went for these classes coz I always come back more recharged). It just seemed like no words can get inside me. Maybe it is time to move on to the next phase.

During the rite, I wasn’t as nervous as the rite of acceptance but nevertheless, this is still a special moment. Especially when I received the bible from Father V. He said “let this be your guide in your life”… indeed. The bible contains the word of God and nothing will go wrong if I let God take charge.

During sharing, V shared that she herself is feeling shaky about her faith. It’s a surprise to me coz she is a totally different person from Day 1 and I thought that she is really having a good time, growing strong. It is like there seems to be more questions than before and she is not able to answer this questions.

Well, these are the same thoughts that A & I had. I later shared with V – to have questions is norm. We should not let these questions drowned us but we should move on stronger and look for answers by doing more reading and talking to the priests.

A few of us are undergoing a dry period (for some unknown reason). Some of us are still walking on, some had dropped out (but I pray that they will come back onto the path soon) while others are still going on strong. We can be each other’s support.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the wonderful rite of bible presentation. Your word will be my life’s guiding principle. A few of us are going through a dry spell in our journey. Lord, please give us the graces to continue on this journey. Let us not be distracted but continue to focus our attention onto you. You are our light. Continue to guide us. You give us strength when we are weak. You are the way, the truth and the life and whoever believes in you will never hunger or thirst. Thank you Lord for all your blessings. I lift up my thanks and prayers to you through Jesus Christ. AMEN.
 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 9:06 AM, | 1 comments

God's Beauty

Saturday, January 07, 2006
Today is one hectic day. Everyone is trying to churn out the monthly highlights. As if it is not enough of a rushed job, there are several ‘ingredients’ added to it – holidays coming up next week (but my parent company is not having holidays! And it is time for quarterly reporting), new colleagues who are still not familiar with how the reporting works, the reporting timeline, and system bugs that took many days before being resolved.

In the midst of all these rush-rush, patience may get short-circuit and temper may flare. Well, at least this was what I felt this morning.

Then I remembered – I just need to turn to God. He will definitely guide me through. Before I killed the next innocent victim, I said a short prayer asking for the peace of Jesus and that He will guide me through.

Indeed, for the rest of the day, I am able to take things A LOT easier. No one was killed by me for the rest of the day.

In fact, many things went smoothly for me that I can even sit down to guide my new colleague through her reporting. *Thank God*

I admit in my craze doing up cross-stitching, I had taken a step back in terms of spending quality time with God. I am guilty but the urge to finish my cross-stitch is there ALL THE TIME! Nevertheless, God is here for me. He forgave me and continues to guide me….
Hmmm, I should really make that effort to spend more quality time with Him.
 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 3:56 AM, | 1 comments

My new year resolution …

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I have yet to spend time on setting my new year’s resolution(s) but I suppose, topmost on my list is to learn to be humble.

1. BE HUMBLE


There will be many changes in my life, especially this year and many more changes in the years to come.

Workwise
There are many new things to learn. People may come and tell me things which I had failed to take note of or things that I had never come across in my short working life. At times, I tend to let my emotions rule my head. Hence I need to be humble and accept all these ‘feedback’ and not take on a defensive stand (just because I do not like the person).

Personal life
MAJOR changes expected and a good dosage of humility is required.


2. SPIRITUAL LIFE
I should not be a Sunday Catholic. I ought to get more involved in Church. Yes, I should join a ministry.

3. CPA
Yea, it has been long overdue.

4. EXERCISE
Hmm, losing the steam to exercise. I am getting lazy

5. Spend time with family and be patient with them
As I grow older, I get more frightened. My parents are getting older and each of us has our own matters to attend to. I hope that I can manage my time well and can afford time for my folks. Of course, as my parents are getting older, they tend to be more long winded. I need to be patient with them.

 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 6:34 PM, | 0 comments

Ugly Scene

Wednesday, January 04, 2006
There was an ugly scene in the office and this colleague is expecting me to take sides.

I refused to say anything and thankfully my boss indicated that what is done cannot be undone and we should just move ahead.

The colleague is still unhappy and sent me a message via the internal messaging system. Again, I refused to take sides and only tell her that the other colleague is trying her best to help in the situation (trying my best to get her to concentrate on the positive aspect rather than the initial display of backside covering by this other colleague).

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Can’t help but wonder why people want to work in such a manner. Or is this the real working life? I suppose actions much worse than what I just saw could have happened elsewhere.

I might have been over-sheltered in my previous jobs.

 
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 1:08 AM, | 0 comments