Worldly views, worldly concerns?
Thursday, September 22, 2005
I was practising on my organ - just some hymns then my mum walked in, with a serious look on her face. she began telling me that i should not make myself so busy with church activities ... she continued to rattle on. a short while later, she went back to her room.
about 15 minutes later, she came back. with more rattling.... i sensed that she is confused with my behaviour, with what is going on around. usually i would try to correct her misconceptions about church and ministry. but this time, i kept quiet. i was even smiling at times. i know that i am being persecuted because i am walking closer to God, with God. She is seeing a change in me that she finds it hard to accept. for example, she said that last time, i am not so fervent (she is referring to the taoism thingy) ... and now that i have decided to join choir, she made comment like ï let u learn organ is for u to earn money, not to play for free..." ... hmmm, her list of counselling went on and on ... in short, she is saying that i am too involved while other christians around me just go to church on Sunday..
while she is saying, i just listened and made a small prayer for the Holy Spirit to send her a gift of understanding and patience for myself ..
throughout the "counseling", she would pop questions occasionally - like what u join? why u join? cant they sing without music? well, i can only tell her that the announcement has been going on for weeks that they need a organist and since i know how to play, i tot i should join them. are my BF , his sister, his father joining any activities etc and she even thinks that i forced my bf to go through the RCIA process with me . *faintz*,.
hmm, throughout the session, it's always "ÿou should do it for money, if u are too free, u should have more time for yourself and your bf, you should tidy up your room etc ..." .. such worldly things ... i would have agreed with her in the past (actually i am guilty of this as well .. i used to think that my best friend's priorities were wrong ..=P) but now, i dun see it that way ... there is the joy from serving Him....
she also mentioned abt the joss sticks thingy - i guess i am wrong here in a sense that i did not give ourselves more room tot discuss this a few mths back ..
well, i think as an obligation/out of respect to them, if they want me to go through the rituals, i would - BUT it is out of respect. she mentioned that she knows i am a christian and will not make me hold joss sticks etc ... haiz. i just will not worship other idols... my parents are not idols... one of the commandment is to love and honour them, if they want me to do it, maybe i should do it but before i do it, i must try my bery best to tell them why i should not do it ... y get so hung up over the joss sticks thingy? isn't it more important that how we should live our life on earth than to care abt all these "luxury" after death? cant she see that i am making time for her (on weekends that i do not have to go for retreat etc?) what does she want from me to be satisfied?
hmmm, i am too lazy to repeat all the cases that she has against me here ..but pray for me that her eyes will be opened one day and see the light!
about 15 minutes later, she came back. with more rattling.... i sensed that she is confused with my behaviour, with what is going on around. usually i would try to correct her misconceptions about church and ministry. but this time, i kept quiet. i was even smiling at times. i know that i am being persecuted because i am walking closer to God, with God. She is seeing a change in me that she finds it hard to accept. for example, she said that last time, i am not so fervent (she is referring to the taoism thingy) ... and now that i have decided to join choir, she made comment like ï let u learn organ is for u to earn money, not to play for free..." ... hmmm, her list of counselling went on and on ... in short, she is saying that i am too involved while other christians around me just go to church on Sunday..
while she is saying, i just listened and made a small prayer for the Holy Spirit to send her a gift of understanding and patience for myself ..
throughout the "counseling", she would pop questions occasionally - like what u join? why u join? cant they sing without music? well, i can only tell her that the announcement has been going on for weeks that they need a organist and since i know how to play, i tot i should join them. are my BF , his sister, his father joining any activities etc and she even thinks that i forced my bf to go through the RCIA process with me . *faintz*,.
hmm, throughout the session, it's always "ÿou should do it for money, if u are too free, u should have more time for yourself and your bf, you should tidy up your room etc ..." .. such worldly things ... i would have agreed with her in the past (actually i am guilty of this as well .. i used to think that my best friend's priorities were wrong ..=P) but now, i dun see it that way ... there is the joy from serving Him....
she also mentioned abt the joss sticks thingy - i guess i am wrong here in a sense that i did not give ourselves more room tot discuss this a few mths back ..
well, i think as an obligation/out of respect to them, if they want me to go through the rituals, i would - BUT it is out of respect. she mentioned that she knows i am a christian and will not make me hold joss sticks etc ... haiz. i just will not worship other idols... my parents are not idols... one of the commandment is to love and honour them, if they want me to do it, maybe i should do it but before i do it, i must try my bery best to tell them why i should not do it ... y get so hung up over the joss sticks thingy? isn't it more important that how we should live our life on earth than to care abt all these "luxury" after death? cant she see that i am making time for her (on weekends that i do not have to go for retreat etc?) what does she want from me to be satisfied?
hmmm, i am too lazy to repeat all the cases that she has against me here ..but pray for me that her eyes will be opened one day and see the light!
posted by Francesca Cecilia at 2:21 PM, | 
I read this blog abt 2.30am and was very moved by your previous prayers in the other blogs.
Don't ask me why I am up so late, as usual it's some work and my searching thots which keep me up :)
Don't take much offence to what your mum is ranting abt, like I said her best friend is taking a NEW PATH which she(mum)is uncertain of, soon she will see you as a model of Light which u sculptured at the retreat and she will want to follow that LIGHT.
Holy Father in the Most High ! As my starry eyed sister rests at this time in your peace , let your angels come to her home and fill it with love like those she never experienced before. As she played the hymns that the angels play in heaven she was so persecuted but bared it all like how your Son bared it all for us . We know Father that those hymns are a sore to the evil ones, so now they are no more as they have gone away from hearing the hymns of PRaises.
Bless this child of yours Cecilia and show her more of your Being as she Journeys in the RCIA.
All this I ask thru your Beloved Son Jesus Christ. Amen.
Francis